A Birthday Letter To My Littlest Man

F-Collage

DEAR FINLEY,

Last week I wrote a post about gender disappointment and how I had been really sad for awhile while pregnant when I found out that you were not the little girl that I had dreamt about having after my own mum had died when I was only 21 years old.

I certainly could not have imagined just how perfect for me you would be and I’m sorry for that moment of sadness because I had no idea just how blessed I would be by your presence in my life.

Somehow, some way, someone knew just the perfect gift to give me and it turned out to be you.

Love

You and I are so alike and yet so different.

You do everything so awkwardly and your dad is always telling me ‘That’s your son right there!’ because that attribute is so reminiscent of me! Last night you and your brother asked for a horsey ride to bed so your brother hopped on sitting up straight on my back and was delivered to his bed. Then it was your turn. After three attempts at climbing on and falling straight back off, you managed to secure yourself a ride to bed lying completely backwards with your feet practically in my mouth and your face at the wrong end of the horse but you laughed and giggled the entire way, completely oblivious to the awkwardness of your position.

Putting on or pulling off your shoes, socks or pants is another one where you could do it a million ‘easier’ ways but somehow manage to do so completely backwards from everyone else. I love this about you because it is so much like me!

Two peas in a pod.

You make me smile every day with your sweet, cheeky nature.

From the time I wake up in the morning and find you in my bed my heart melts. When you wake up and wrap your little arms around my neck for a big cuddle and say ‘Mummy! I missed you while I was sleeping!’ I just turn into a gooey mess. You say I love you freely and love to cuddle me, you’re a total mummy’s boy through and through. I know one day you will be a daddy’s boy once you get to an age where you realise that hanging out with dad fishing on his boat is far cooler than helping mum with the baking or washing (I use the term ‘help’ lightly but you think you’re helping!) but for now I savour that novelty of being your favourite as you make me feel like the most special person in the world.

Your favourite thing to say is ‘What are you doing?’. I think you ask me, your father, your grandad, your Nana (and anyone else who happens to be in the vicinity) this about a thousand times a day, even when it’s very obvious what we are doing!

Any time we pass a BP service station you yell out ‘Mummy’s coffee!’ and you know when I’ve had a bad day, always asking me if I’m happy. ‘Are you happy mummy? Are you happy?’.

You tell me I’m your best friend. Your bestest friend in the whole wide world! You’re different from your brother in that you are the louder and more outgoing of the two of you, the slightly crazier and more energetic one but I suspect that deep down you are the more sensitive of the two. Outwardly that would appear by all accounts to be your brother but there is a sensitive side to your soul that feels things really deeply and loves so openly. You love people and chatter constantly but you do not want to go to kindy!

‘School house’ (as Cohen has called it, the name that has now stuck) is for Cohen only, you plan to stay and look after Nanny (your Nana) and get quite upset at the idea of going, crying real tears at the prospect and yet you love to drop off Cohen there and visit. It just shows that caring nature that you don’t want to leave Nanny alone (plus you are sensitive to any kind of change) but I can’t wait to see you thrive in that environment, a whole new world in the making (that is if you can let go of the refusal to go part!).

Finny, you have just turned 3 years old and we feel so so lucky to have had the privilege of being chosen to be your parents.

Life is a joyful existence with you in it, full of noise and laughter and humour and fun but touched by love and affection and a quiet steady loyalty.

Portrait

I love you so much little man and can’t wait to see what’s to come.

Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Linking up with #IBOT @ Essentially Jess

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