Friends Or Foes: When Siblings Fight. And Cry. A Lot.


The other week my 3 year old son decided to give his 4 year old brother a shove, to which he responded by punching him square in the face. Ba boom! Smacko!

Tears galore!

A few days later on the way home from kindy Finley (the 3 year old who I might add JUST turned 3 in December) announced that he had a girlfriend.

He’s only been attending kindergarten for 3 short weeks and yet he declares proudly that he has indeed got one and they hold hands (so help me God!).

Then the conversation got going between the two boys in the backseat of the car:

Finn: I have a girlfriend Cohen
Cohen: What’s her name?
Finn: Kathryn (the name of Cohen’s ‘girlfriend’ of the last 6 months)
Cohen: No, Kathryn’s MY girlfriend
Finn: No! She’s MY girlfriend
Cohen: (Getting upset) No Finley, she’s mine
Finn: No, she wants me now
Cohen: *insert tears*
Finn: She doesn’t want you anymore
Cohen: Muuuuummy! *insert wailing*

I seriously thought I had at least 10 more years to wait before I heard this kind of conversation take place! Cos let’s be honest, at some point in time they are going to like the same girl. In this instance my 3 year old (going on 13) was just stirring the pot for the sake of it because:

1. He’s not in the same class as Kathryn and therefore he is talking absolute rubbish; and 2. He takes great pleasure in making his older brother cry.

In the meantime they just fight over me.

The next day the same thing occurred. They argue and then one ends up crying.

And the day after that.

I didn’t push him off, I swear! He fell!

Since Finn turned 3 he has started becoming more interested in all the things that Cohen likes and they have started to compete over friggin EVERYTHING. And I mean everything!

Here is a short list of things they’ve fought over this week:

  • Who can get to the front door first
  • Who can open the front door first
  • Who can beat mummy to the front door first
  • Who can get to the car first
  • Who can get in the car first
  • Who can get to the mailbox first
  • Who gets the mail out of the box first
  • Who can get to their bed first
  • Who can splash the highest in the bath
  • Who gets the tablet first
  • Who gets the blue cup
  • Who gets the green cup
  • Who loves mummy more
  • Who loves daddy more

I’m sure by now you get the gist.

Then there’s the fights over the one toy they both decide they want at the same time, the one bike of 6 bikes that they both want to ride, who’s going to hold the watering can to help me water the garden, who’s teddy bears are who’s (the teddy bears that have lain sad and neglected for months before one decides to pick one up and therefore the other wants it). They fought because Finley took the teddy’s clothes off and Cohen thought he would get cold. Because ‘he touched me!’. Because one wanted the light on and one didn’t.

About who can make the pee come out of their ‘noodle’ first (seriously?!).

The competing and fighting doesn’t bother me as much as the CRYING. Oh the feckin’ CRYING!

He threw sand at me!

The crying of whichever child loses does my head in! They cry and wail and scream. You would think the world had come to an end the way the loser carries on. What’s worse than a sore loser? TWO sore losers.

Imagine if adults carried on that way!

  • You gave him his coffee before me! (This to the barista at the local cafe before throwing yourself to the floor and thrashing around while wailing)
  • You got more wine in your glass than I got in mine! (To the waiter as you propel your high heel at his head)
  • You bet me to the frozen foods aisle! (Stand next to frozen peas bawling your eyes out)
  • That milk is mine, I don’t want the other 30 milk cartons in the fridge, I want THAT one! (Attempt to snatch the milk from a strangers hands while screaming bloody murder)
  • That’s MY carpark! (Oh wait, this one actually happens regularly)

Can you imagine the road rage (you probably can!) and the bitch fights in Kmart?! Holy hell, it would be a war zone! Broken crockery and the mascara streaked faces of women wailing everywhere (on second thought you could probably just visit a night club on a Friday night around 2am to see that).

And the dads be all fighting over a trolley in Bunnings or a box of beer at the local bottle shop.

I seriously give huge props to anyone who works in childcare or kindergarten the world over. Kudos to you!

Do you have kids who compete and fight over everything too? What do you do about it?

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55 thoughts on “Friends Or Foes: When Siblings Fight. And Cry. A Lot.

  1. Hahahahaha! I wish we could express ourselves the way kids do – I’m sure we’d all be a lot calmer, letting those emotions out! Mind you, there might be a lot fewer of us as well! I don’t envy you two boys, but it sure sounds like you have plenty to keep you from getting bored! And just think what awesome bonds they’re forming with every little battle. Just invest in some earplugs for the crying (my son is a wailer too, what is with that?) and enjoy the peace and quiet!
    Emily M Morgan recently posted…An Interview With Lucy CousinsMy Profile

    1. Certainly not bored! Hahaha. Every time I turn around they’re fighting, naked or saying or doing something entertaining. Not all at the same time. Usually. Sometimes.

    1. Yep, I can see how you could relate Bec! Later this year Cohen can go fishing on the boat with daddy because he is turning 5 but Finn will still be too young at 3. I anticipate more fights in my future!

  2. I think people in child care centres and schools are angels from heaven. ANGELS!
    My kids are actually far enough apart in age that they don’t fight. Much. Plus one’s a boy and one’s a girl. So I’ve never really had this issue I guess. It turns out that the 4 year difference seems to be enough to stop the competition. Mostly. Sometimes. Or something.
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted…Day 2322 – Rhyming SlangMy Profile

    1. I clearly planned this out all wrong! Haha. Actually, I didn’t plan a small gap at all it just turned out this way! Im hoping they’ll be great mates later, hopefully not stealing each others girlfriends!!

    1. Yeah, I imagine the fights as they get older to probably be a bit more full on verbally! Right now they’re more pushy and shovey, though the 3 year old LOVES to stir!

    1. Mine are lovers and haters. One minute they love one another and the next they’re scrapping! Haha. I try to just leave them to sort it out themselves most of the time.

  3. I’m giggling at the thought of going toe to toe with a stranger over a bottle of milk. That would be hilarious!
    The fighting is exhausting. There’s nothing that wears you down quicker I think than kids that can’t get along with each other.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Slow #IBOTMy Profile

  4. You pretty just described every day of my life for the last couple of months. The older Zee gets the worse it gets. She will be 3 in July and already the Threenager is coming through loud and clear. Add that to her sometimes aggressive, always over-sensitive 20-months-older sister and it’s total mayhem. Somedays I seriously consider googling “voice box removal”.

    In some ways, having kids close together is the best. In other ways, such as their overlapping stage, it was such a mistake, lol!
    Kylie Purtell recently posted…Seven {2016 52 week project} | PhotographyMy Profile

    1. Haha Kylie, I hear ya! I think 3 is a hard age anyway but add that to a sibling they can fight with and it gets harder! Or worse. Whichever way you want to look at it!

  5. Oh Haidee, I feel your pain. I have a 15 yo daughter and a 13 yo son and they are as different as night and day. They fight over absolutely ANYTHING, and this has been happening continuously since they were very young. My daughter says she always wanted a sister, not a brother, so it’s not her fault! OMG! Now they are teens, they lose their technology if we tell them to stop it and they don’t – or I turn off the wifi modem, that works wonders, he he he! The secret is to find a consequence that REALLY matters to them. Being off social media for more than a few minutes is social death to a teen!
    Lyndall @ SeizeTheDayProject recently posted…How to find more time in your dayMy Profile

    1. OMG, 15 and 13 and STILL FIGHTING! So help me God (and so help you too! That must be so irritating!). Right now I find it rather amusing but as teens I don’t think I would.

  6. I’d cry too if someone else at the table got more wine poured in their glass! 🙂 Our toddler doesn’t argue per se, with his seven year old brother. The other day we warned the seven year old that he was annoying his brother and that he needed to stop before the toddler retaliated. A minute later he was still annoying his younger brother and suddenly the seven year old came running into the room crying, “he just punched me in the nuts!” I get the feeling there are going to be a lot more incidents like this. Husband is one of four boys very close in age, he says they were always fighting / wrestling / annoying each other. Its normal 🙂
    Emma @ Life, kids and a glass of red recently posted…Why you should never go shopping without your kidsMy Profile

  7. Yup. Our house too. My son (2.5yrs) seems to take great delight in upsetting his sister (4yrs). My son says things like, “She’s my mum not yours.” And the biggest fight is always over who gets served their food first. Oh my goodness. I hope this all settles soon!

  8. My two fight over who gets to press the doorbell when we get home. Even though no one is home to answer it! And they fight over who gets the biggest piece of ANYTHING, who gets to collect the mail, who gets to hand me the pegs when I’m hanging out washing… IT. IS. RELENTLESS!!!
    Rachel recently posted…The Mummy Who Wants To Fall AsleepMy Profile

  9. I hear you. The girls are fighting a lot lately too. There are moments of peace and lovely playing together, but for the most part they are screaming at each other. The three year old is a shocker for hitting and shoving. God alive. Hopefully it will all go back to normal soon.

  10. Haha this is actually hilarious – fighting over a girl! Brilliant! How cunning is Finn?! I think it might be more fun if adults DID behave like 4 year olds! My two still play very nicely nearly all the time currently, but they’re younger than yours & I’m sure it won’t last! #WAYWOW
    Silly Mummy recently posted…Toddler HistoryMy Profile

  11. The worst thing is that mere seconds after the five-minute argument about WHO HAD THE BLUE CUP FIRST ME ME IT WAS ME IT’S MINE GIVE IT BACK!!!, the blue cup will be discarded on the floor. No-one actually wants it.
    My kids used to fight a bit, but not too much. Then when A started school, it wasn’t much because they just missed each other too much. Now she’s settled in and is really enjoying playing with kids at her stage, so she gets easily frustrated with M at home. (There’s almost three years between them.) So we now have more fights than ever.
    Sigh. We’ll get there. Great post. x
    Emily recently posted…Mirror, MirrorMy Profile

  12. I’m sorry I laughed because I know you must be so frustrated dealing with all of this! But competing over peeing is pretty hilarious!

    I’m a teacher and although I think they’re easier by the time they get to me (I teach secondary school so 12+) – there’s still some pretty pathetic fights over nonsense!

    Hopefully you’ll laugh over all this in the years to come xx

  13. Oh Haidee, you sure have your hands full don’t you? Never a dull moment at your house is there? My kids are 8 years apart until I never had an issue with them wanting the same thing at the same time. Well, most of the time anyways! It sounds like the boys will end up being the best of friends but for now know my thoughts are with you my friend!

  14. I hear you! It starts first thing in the morning with ‘who gets to hug Mummy first’.
    I’ve got two arms and you can both count to two = I can damn well hug you both at the same bleeding time!!!

    1. Hahaha! Yes! I am constantly being clambered over and we have more than one chair but if I’m on it then they both are on it too! I mean, the love is nice and all but I hear ya!!

  15. Oh yes, I relate to this one a lot! I have three childrem aged 2, 4.5 and 6 – and although at times my heart melts with their beautiful friendships, they fight A LOT. Over everything and nothing. Who gets to sit in a particular chair at the dinner table, you have him his gravy first, I want the blue plate etc etc. I remember being the same with my brothers. It’s draining some days but I guess it is just part of sibling life. x

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