Ok, so I won’t beat around the bush on this one.
I am completely and utterly in the age you faster boat over here and I am totally envious of those who claim they look and feel younger since having kids!
I have to admit that looking in the mirror recently I have begun to wonder who this haggard looking woman is, this new (older) version of myself. I always looked young for my age and dined out on the stories of being ID’d in my late 20’s but lately I have really started to catch up to my age.
Let’s talk about what pregnancy and kids can do to a woman’s appearance, body and sanity shall we and then move on to some quick fixes (well, they kinda fix things for a few weeks anyway!).
I love lists, so let’s start by making one of those!
- Did you ever notice how much of your hair falls out during pregnancy resulting in those super attractive bald patches? Only to suddenly reappear months after the baby has arrived by growing back as wispy little hairs (that can’t be tamed no matter how much product you use) growing back right on your hairline?
- To add insult to injury, sometime they come back grey. So unfair! I now have wispy grey buggers that stand right up on top of my head. I took to them with tweezers the other day. I may live to regret this! Everything I read said that the whole ‘pull out one grey hair and get multiple growing back’ is a myth but knowing my luck it will be the bloody truth! I’ll just have to keep hacking away at the little bastards. I refuse to go grey quietly at only 33!
- Hair grows faster! I’m not talking about on my head anymore. I’m talking everywhere. What is with that?! I pluck my eyebrows and the next day they are growing back!
- I can’t bathe my children and then stand up again. Seriously. I am like the hunch back of Notre Dame after bathing the kids. You bend over to wash their hair and the next minute you are in agony trying to straighten back up again while your children laugh at you. 10 minutes later …
- ^ The same as above after shaving your legs in the shower.
- Varicose veins. Soooo attractive!
- You lose your memory. How many times have you boiled the jug to make a coffee (mmm, coffee!) and wandered off only to forget you had boiled it, so boiled it again? And again. My power bill won’t be thanking me.
- Still on the memory topic – words escape you. You can be half way through a sentence when you stop suddenly because: A. You’ve forgotten the right word for what you are saying; or B. You have completely forgotten what you were talking about.
- Winter sets in and your knees creak and crack and ache in the cold. You require a blanket over your legs like an old lady to keep the pain at bay.
- You’re so tired you start getting that really attractive run down complexion. The ‘oh so lovely’ adult acne you never dreamed you would still have to deal with in your 30’s, not to mention (shock horror!) wrinkles. And your kids love to point them out: ‘Mummy, why do you have lines on your forehead?’, followed closely by ‘Mummy, why are your eyes so red?’.
Unfortunately there are really no quick fixes on the memory loss or dopiness (yes, I appear dopey much of the time as I walk into door frames – that happened again today) but the appearance side of things can be worked on.
- Get your hair done and cover up those greys. I have no choice but to do blonde foils these days. Blonde comes with it’s own set of problems (like regrowth) but dark just shows the grey too readily.
- Try an at home facial – exfoliate, apply a mask (it will entertain the kids if nothing else!) and apply some expensive moisturiser (if you don’t own any or ‘expensive’ is currently outside of your limit, get a sample from the chemist to ‘try’). Not that I do that. Ever.
- Pluck your eyebrows but don’t get too carried away! Nothing worse than accidentally over plucking and looking like an old haggard version of yourself with no eyebrows! Teeny tiny arches (à la Pamela Anderson) were so the ’90s.
- Go old school and start using a toner. I suck at bothering but it actually does make a big difference to my skin.
- Shave. Everything. Or at least tidy. Wax if you are brave!
- Get a good nights sleep (Hahahahaha!). Just kidding.
- Drink loads of
- Lipstick! I bought a bright red one recently that I have to admit I have not worn in recent months. Time to start applying it again! Bit of colour on the lips is sure to help right?
- Fresh air. It’s good for the soul (I really should take my own advice on this one but it’s freezing).
Have you aged faster since having kids or are you one of the lucky ones? Do you have anything you would add to either list?
Joining Jess at #IBOT today.