I Have A Confession … My Blondest Moments Exposed


Ok, so if you haven’t already figured out that I love to have a laugh at my own expense and have a bit of a habit of experiencing sensational blonde moments, you are about to be introduced to the Haidee my friends know and love.



According to me anyway! To be fair I never actually WATCHED Peppa Pig, it was always just background noise and I truly thought Peppa Pig was a male pig. I mean, Peppa? That sounded like a boys name and he sounded like a boy … here is the proof that this is not made up – the last comment you read leads me to my next point …


Cos everything is American these days! I thought he was just part of the Disney franchise. Clearly I suck at accents! And apparently general knowledge as everyone I mention this too looks at me like ‘How can you not know that?! Everyone knows that!’. Hopefully this little tidbit does not lose me any of my English readers!




One of my friends was bantering around the idea of a Jackalope as a logo for a business idea and I had never heard of one so I Google imaged it (if it’s on Google then it must be real!). In my defence, I asked a workmate if he had heard of it first and we actually googled it together and we were both saying ‘Wow, I’ve never heard of this animal! How have we never heard of one of these?!’. Then the images started getting a little crazy and we were like ‘Hmm, hold on!’.


Yes, you read that right! You can read more extensively about that in my post Words Amuck. but to make it super simple for you, here is a cut and paste of that story as told in that post:



When I was early 20’s I went to a restaurant for dinner with some girlfriends. It was a favourite haunt of ours and we knew the menu by heart, so when the waiter came over I knew exactly what to order as a starter without even looking at it:

“I’ll have some fellatio please”

The young (attractive) male waiter just stared at me so I repeated myself ‘Fellatio. You know!’.

Cue awkward silence.

Yep. While my friends laughed hysterically, the joke went straight over my head and then when it clicked I was mortified. I just asked a male waiter for fellatio. OMG. Focaccia. Focaccia bread please.


Most embarrassing moment ever.


You know how your parents always tell you ‘NEVER PUT A KNIFE IN THE TOASTER!’. Well, I took that a little too literally and thought that meant literally never put a knife in the toaster. So my toast got stuck and I stuck the metal tongs in the plugged in toaster to get the toast out. Cos it wasn’t a knife. This was last year. Ok, no no, just joking! I was 19 (that’s not that much better though is it?!).

NOTE TO PARENTS: Be literal. Spell it out. Reiterate. Do not, I repeat, do NOT expect your offspring to read between the lines. Ever.

Children, do not put anything metal in the toaster! Be a it a knife, fork, spoon or tongs’.

Spell it out people! (That’s right, I am reiterating. See what I did there?). I totally blame my mum for this one (only because she isn’t here to defend herself!). Thankfully I survived to tell the tale, must have been all those games of Operation as a kid! This came up in my 21st speeches too but the speaker accidentally said I stuck the thongs in the toaster so it kinda got really awkward at that point! Much like I feel about this post!


And I think I will leave this here as not to bury myself any further!

Do you ever have moments like this? Share your confession below!

84 thoughts on “I Have A Confession … My Blondest Moments Exposed

  1. Ummm, I don’t know where to start.

    I can probably (a teensy weensy bit) understand that you thought Peppa was a guy. Because of the whole husky voice thing, but that’s where it ends. The Thomas thing? You must be deaf, me thinks.

    Felatio bread? Now I know you really aren’t paying attention.

    Haidee. Thank you so much for this post. You truly are a funny girl (and not one that means to be). Big hugs for the future kid. You’re going to need it ;). xo
    Kelly recently posted…I FREAK OUT AT FLYINGMy Profile

    1. I would like to point out that I was only 19 or 20 when the felatio bread thing happened … Just for the record! And I’m not sure I’m deaf, just very unobservant! Haha.

    1. I know … my workmate was very quick to point that out when I enlightened him with my thought that it was American! Oops! Of course in hindsight it is easy to hear the English accent!

    1. Dropbears? *Off to madly google* Yikes, wouldn’t want to come across them! They look like they would eat the Jackalopes and live with the Werewolves!

  2. When I was very young someone told me toads (and frogs presumably) turned into stones during the day. I didn’t question this and was well into high school when I had a conversation with my bestie about it one day.

    She couldn’t believe what I was telling her. Naturally I then realised how stupid it was and had no recollection of where the belief came from!
    Deborah recently posted…Author interview with Claire Varley – The Bit in BetweenMy Profile

  3. They actually have an American version of Thomas as well …there is no fat controller so you might be off the hook on that one….maybe. Although I slightly suspect you may have been watching the English one.

  4. I know nothing of Peppa pig so can’t comment. Hubby and I were a ;little younger, headed to an Indian restaurant for a little culture and we both like this entree which was a range of meats on a stick with some vegetables. “Sounds yum” I said and hubby agreed. I ordered ” We would love some of these – sorry I can’t say the word” as I pointed to it on the menu. It was Shish Kabobs – seriously was idiots. #FYBF

  5. I wouldn’t have had a clue whether Peppa Pig was a boy or a girl but I can be excused because my kids are all grown up now so I don’t ever have it on my TV. I did however know that Thomas The Tank Engine was English coz it’s been around long enough that my kids used to watch it and so I watched it too! 🙂
    Min@WriteoftheMiddle recently posted…Taking Stock – August 2015My Profile

    1. You are so lucky you don’t ever have it on your TV! It is a very irritating show which is perhaps why I never watched it properly to differentiate what sex the main pig was! Haha.

  6. This has really made me laugh….. How can you think Peppa is a boy??? She wears a dress and she has a girl’s voice (really irritating one, I must say!)

    1. That’s ok, I can one up it (well my husband can!). On our wedding day he married himself! ‘I Hayden, take you Hayden’. Hahahaha! Totally broke the ice anyway!

    1. Yeah, if I’d been paying attention I totally would have got it! I mean, I have no problem differentiating between accents unless it is between Canadians and Americans! And I bet I’m not the only one! Add cartoon voices in though and then it gets a little more confusing (especially when you are not actually watching it!)

  7. My husband ALWAYS gets his toast out using a knife. I caught him at it the other day and I went absolutely ballistic! I made him promise to never do it again. He claimed that he “always does it” but I told he only has to get it wrong once! Tongs are equally bad (though it’s funny how literal you were!)

    If it makes you feel any better, when I was 19 I was in LA and a guy approached me and offered me coke. I didn’t realise he was a drug dealer and asked if he had diet! I thought he was a street vendor!


  8. I think I peed a little… laughing so hard at the tongs…and then THONGS in the toaster. I will sadly admit that I would do the exact same thing. My mother knew how awkward I was in my thought process though and told me to never put anything in the toaster except bread. (I’m not sure if that says more about HER or about ME. LOL)
    GeekBabe recently posted…Awe-tism: Redefining “Normal”My Profile

  9. Hahahah! These are hilarious! I haven’t got anything similar off the top of my head, but a girl I work with once told a customer that she’ll just grab the gynecologist for her now, .. she meant horticulturist.

    Tegan xx – Permanent Procrastination

    Btw I’ve made an anonymous survey that I would love for you to have a look at! It aims to gather data on rates for sponsored posts, so that new bloggers can be better informed. 🙂
    Tegan Seymour recently posted…Surveys & CompetitionsMy Profile

  10. Haha! This has made me laugh so much. I think we might have much in common. I could write a list like this too but maybe not so well. It’s lovely to ‘virtually’ meet you xx #TheList

  11. Okay I’m with you on Peppa Pig. I got the shock of my life when I found out last year (long after my kids stopped watching) that he’s in fact a she. But you break my heart over Thomas. A British institution…for er my generation lol.

    And the foccacia…no words!


  12. You are not alone I have never seen Peppa and at first thought it was a boy too. But the rest had me laughing. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again soon. I apologize for my late commenting, just catching up on a hectic week. I appreciate all the blog support. Look forward to reading more of your SWM link ups. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Wednesday’s Blog Birthday Giveaway: Oxo Good GripsMy Profile

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