My Child The Hypochondriac … When EVERYTHING Needs A Plaster

Hypochondriac

My oldest son is what one might call a hypochondriac.

I don’t know when it started exactly but it’s been going on for as long as I can remember and as he gets older it’s just getting progressively worse.

The tiniest mark on his body and he is crying that he has a hurt and it ‘needs a plaster mummy, you need to fix it!’. It is not unheard of to hear a proclamation of ‘But I’m dying!’ in our household.

Last night he was distraught over an invisible sore foot that is now securely ensconced in a bandage. Yes, that’s right, not a mark on him and it’s wrapped in a bandage. An adult size one at that. It was either that or tears dripping into his 2-minute noodle dinner (due to an epic fail in the kitchen on my part). We then had him back up again five times as apparently one of his toes (on the other foot this time) was mysteriously sore too and needed a plaster.

Enter dribbling, snotty mess to left stage.

Once in the lounge he looked down, saw the other foot in the bandage and cried because it was in a bandage and ‘broken’. So really, I have a paranoid hypochondriac with a terrible memory (wonder where he gets that from!).

Recently we ended up having to go to the hospital for unexplained tummy pains. This time I could see he was in serious discomfort and was actually concerned (yes, these days I see my son in tears and take a few minutes to assess the situation before running to his aid all guns blazing). The doctor thinks it was a stomach migraine which is something I had never heard of before but is apparently mighty common in young children, particularly female for whatever reason. It is usually the precursor to adult head migraines, so chances are if you suffer from migraines you may recall unexplained tummy pains as a young child.

Anyway, it turns out that this was the highlight of his life! He was surrounded by female doctors and nurses and couldn’t contain his excitement, he loved the attention from all the ‘teachers’. He was totally in his element during his two hour stay in a hospital bed for observation.

Now our weekend conversations go like this:

Cohen, would you like to go to the park or beach?

The hospital.

You only go to the hospital when you’re sick

But the hospital is fun and I need to see the teachers! And I am sick.

You’re not sick, we’ll go to the park

But mummy! My foot hurts! 

Park

But I have a sore tummy! 

And on and on it goes …

Does your child obsess over ‘sores’? Do you put plasters on invisible sores day in and day out? Have you had any hospital stays?

Linking up with #IBOT @ Essentially Jess


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37 thoughts on “My Child The Hypochondriac … When EVERYTHING Needs A Plaster

  1. Oh my Gosh, I’m sorry, but I’m laughing. You’ve made this sound so funny. I nearly spat out my breakfast when I read the paranoid hypochondriac part. Oh the poor love. Beach, park? Hospital lol. My little ones definitely get very upset even when they have the tiniest scratch on them and now mummy’s kiss doesn’t even help. Interesting info about the stomach migraines. I certainly hope my girls don’t ever have to experience the migraine pain that I have.
    Renee recently posted…Beach blissMy Profile

  2. My eldest used to be similar. Band aids on every imagined pain. I had to put a stop to it, it was getting ridiculous! We simply stopped catering to it. It was unpleasant at first, with a few tantrums, but it didn’t take long. She had to learn that we would help if she was genuinely I’ll or injured but that crying wolf wasn’t going to work- in fact, that’s the story I read her each day to get the message across!
    Amy @ Handbagmafia recently posted…Online Dating: A MinefieldMy Profile

    1. Haha, we don’t have the ice pack thing yet though I know kindy have introduced him to the frozen peas gig which he was not too keen on! Too cold! Why do kids love doctors so much?!

  3. Hehehe! He is right in saying you get a lot of attention at the hospital. My son is the complete opposite. He hates bandaids or anything restricting on him. So he could graze himself, blood going everywhere, and he’s all like “I’m cool Mum. I don’t want bandaid”. Bit gross really.
    Kelly recently posted…THE SISTERHOOD OF THE WORLD BLOGGERS AWARDMy Profile

  4. I know this is anything but funny, but reading about it I see the humour in this. He sounds so cute – though annoying! You’ll have to remind him of these years when he is a tough old teenager and doesn’t want any fuss when he hurts himself 😉
    Josefa @always Josefa recently posted…QuccijaMy Profile

  5. Ours aren’t so much hypochondriacs, but more serious over reactors! When our eldest once fell over and grazed his knee on gravel when we were out walking, he made such a noise that someone actually came out of their house to check that no one had been involved in a serious accident! Plasters apparently fix everything here too, especially the kids’ patterned ones. They have magical healing powers, or so I’m told by the seven year old…
    Emma @ Life, kids and a glass of red recently posted…“You have two boys? That’s a shame”My Profile

    1. Hahaha! That is seriously funny that he made so much noise someone came outside to see what was going on! Oh dear! I got some cartoon plasters too but he doesn’t like them because they are ‘too small’. Can’t win!

    1. I remember reading that! I myself have been in hospital so many times I couldn’t tell you! My hospital file is now onto big fat bundle number 3!

  6. Oh that’s funny! But I can understand, painful for you.
    I have one who can put things on, so I tend to err on the side of cynicism these days. Of course that occasionally backfires, and I’ve been told of for saying, ‘You’ll be fine!’ and not showing adequate compassion for the scratch that can’t be seen.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Anxious to Matter #IBOTMy Profile

  7. My sister still puts plasters on “injuries” now that aren’t real. And she’s 29. 😀

    …maybe they shouldn’t have invented bacon plasters though….

  8. My kids are obsessed with getting band aids on every little thing, but thankfully our band aids seem to hold magic and they tend to fix everything. I, personally, am a hypochondriac – I hate it and it’s so hard to fight. I stress myself wondering if it’s really something or if I’m just imagining it. It’s exhausting! I hope band aids are able to help your little one!
    Becky from BeckyandJames recently posted…It’s time. For swimmersMy Profile

  9. Haha, this is hilarious! Charlie can’t talk yet but I suspect he may suffer from the same affliction – I’ve noticed if he bangs his head even a tiny bit he rubs it and looks pained, whereas the other boys in mother’s group just get up and go about their business (omg, maybe I am encouraging him with all the ‘boo-boos’! Must stop :))
    He was very interested in a Wiggles bandaid I had on my finger last week too (my mum has a few grandkids and that was all I could find in the first aid box when I cut my finger). So we shall see…
    Rachel @ The Mama Files recently posted…Things dads teach their kids when mum’s off dutyMy Profile

  10. This must be quite challenging at times with trying to assess when your son is actually ill or hurt! I haven’t had this (yet) from either of my children – my eldest has been in hospital several times though as she has a heart condition and whilst she always copes well with her regular hospital check-ups, she also knows that hospital visits for her sometimes involve uncomfortable procedures too which makes them a little less appealing. I wonder if my youngest daughter will go through a similar phase to your son though when she realises that there are times that our attention is naturally a little more focused on her sibling during hospital stays. Hope your son’s phase of needing a plaster or a bandage for everything doesn’t last too long – who knows maybe he’ll turn that obsession into wanting to become a doctor one day! 🙂
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…One day I will miss these momentsMy Profile

  11. Back again from #sharewithme
    That sounds like a difficult one… I didn’t know kids could be hypochondriac! My husband is a bit, that’s bad enough.
    Have you shared your concerns with a doctor? It’s difficult to know how to handle this, without encouraging your son, or on the other hand ignoring his tears if there is a real problem.
    Joanna @mumbalance recently posted…Relax during pregnancy – How and WhyMy Profile

  12. My two constantly try to tell me they are sick or hurt to get medicine because they absolutely love calpol. It’s a round the clock are you really not feeling well in this house. You are not alone there either. 🙂 #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Letters to Him & Her ~ #33My Profile

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