So right in the midst of an epic vent on Facebook the other day about an incorrigible puppy who insists on peeing on the carpet, it suddenly occurred to me that the things I complain about most with this little devil puppy have remarkable similarities to the things I moaned about when my kids were younger (still moan about where the youngest one is concerned!).
Did you know puppies and young children are in fact remarkably similar in many ways?
Here are some of the startling similarities between puppies and young children:
1. They don’t care where they pee
Or shit for that matter. My puppy had a propensity to think that anywhere outside of her crate was free game. The carpet, wooden floor, couch, a child’s bed. It was seriously driving me to drink the brink of frustration. My miniature little shit disguised as one of the most adorable fluffy bundles you have ever seen, also hates to get her feet wet. She thinks rain is acid falling from the sky and therefore she was point blank refusing to pee in it. She’d begrudgingly walk in it but not do her business.
This scenario is mightily similar to that of both my children who incidentally BOTH refused to poo on the toilet. They’d happily poop in their nappies and undies on occasion but the actual TOILET? Oh hell no. How civilised! Why would they actually want to sit on the toilet and do poos? Why, that would be way too easy on mummy. This way I get to wait for my night nappy and have a valid excuse to get back out of bed! Genius!
And poos aside, why must they aim for IN the toilet basin when they could pee on the floor AROUND the toilet instead? I mean, when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go right? Concentration was seriously not a strong point. It wasn’t deliberate, it was simply that they got distracted far too easily. Thankfully the toilet aim has improved exponentially with age and the invention of a poo city with all the poo houses and poo people and poo pets and poo EVERYTHING that you could possibly imagine could reside in such a place eventually became an acceptable place to ‘send’ their poos by age 4. Thank god for that.
But the puppy? She’s better but we’re still working on it.
2. They don’t want to eat what they’re given
We went from a Labrador (AKA a convenient garbage disposal) who would literally eat ANYTHING that could be considered remotely edible (raw potatoes anyone?) to a Shih Tzu x Poodle princess who thinks that dog food is for dogs and she should eat human food. Our food to be precise. Even when it’s not hers to eat (did you know little dogs can really climb?!). She has been seen to jump up onto the kitchen table and help herself on more than one occasion, hence she is now in time out (crated) at dinner times. A bowl of dry dog food can take her up to three days to finish, one dainty ‘do I have to? Is this all I’m getting?’ mouthful at a time. Only cos she’s probably STARVING to death by that point. Cos we’re so mean.
Children on the other hand don’t want to eat what they’re given either! The ‘good’ healthy foods are not for them. Oh no. They want biscuits. Bread. Chips. Ice-cream. They have been known to climb on bench tops to get into cupboards and steal biscuits. Ironic that the dog wants their meat and veg but not her biscuits, while the kids want biscuits (of the human variety thankfully!) but not their meat and veg! At least they eat their Weetbix though I guess … however, it can take up to 3 days for them to finish the food in their lunch boxes. Snap.
3. Put them in time out and they’ll whine
Speaking of time out … lately my three year old has been put in time out quite frequently for his inability to listen and his propensity to throw a tantrum when he doesn’t get his own way (threenager anyone?). Once he’s in there he will scream and cry and bang on the door to try and get our attention so he can come out. When the dog pisses on the carpet or climbs on the table, she is also put in time out in her bedroom (crate) where she will scream (bark) and cry (whine) and climb up the bars in an attempt to be let out. Sound familiar?
4. They never want to go to bed
Like my children (and most everyone’s children!), puppies are usually not enthusiastic about being put to bed and would rather stay up and play. Thus they tend to complain vocally when bedtimes arises. At least the puppy stays in her bed all the night though! Likely this is only because she is LOCKED IN. Now there’s an idea …
5. They hate taking medicine
Have you ever tried giving a dog medication? You have to be extremely sneaky, like CIA sly in your ‘disguised in food’ attempt or force it down their throat because there is really no way in hell they are going to say ‘Ok, give me that yummy tablet and I’ll just eat it for you!’. Even if you do manage to hide it like some hide and seek super ninja, chances are they will know and they will manage to spit the tablet part out just to spite you. This is not fun to then retrieve and try again, trust me!
Giving my kids medicine on the other hand requires willpower, patience and strength (the brute kind) because man, these little people can be strong when they really don’t want to open their mouths! Forget medicine cups taken willingly, no siree!
Apparently medicine tastes like the foulest thing in the world to both puppies and children, who woulda thought? At least children do tend to grow out of it though I guess, can’t say the same for dogs!
6. They like to chew things
Let’s see, I have two drink bottles with chewed spouts still in existence, one where the child was the culprit and one which was the dog. They look the same. At least the kids don’t want to chew worn underwear though I guess (UGH! Why do dogs do that?! So so gross!).
7. They want to be on you ALL THE TIME
So kids. They like to sit where you sit. Even when there are two other couches present in the room with no one on them. But no. They want to be on YOUR chair with you. Or your bar stool. Or in your bed. Basically wherever you are, they want to be. Now not only do I have two children sharing my lazy-boy chair, I also have the damn dog! I come home at night and I am piled upon by two little boys AND a dog. Ok, yes, I secretly love the attention because it makes me feel all loved but still.
They’re ALWAYS on you. Always.
8. They do what they like …
At the end of the day, the biggest commonality between puppies and young children is a very simple one – they both just pretty much do what they like whether we like it or not!.
Lucky they’re cute!
Do you have children and a dog? Can you relate?
……………………………………………
Linking up with: #IBOT @ Kylie Purtell and FYBF @ With Some Grace
This is fantastic and so true!! Your puppy is gorgeous. I have a 5 year old golden retriever who still chews anything and everything in sight!
Nicole @ The Builder’s Wife recently posted…How To Renovate A Bathroom on a Budget
Oh dear, by 5 I hope mine will have grown out of it!
Ha! Yes, very lucky they are cute and yours is absolutely gorgeous. Surely all of the above is forgivable 😉 #teamIBOT
Renee Wilson recently posted…Win a $100 pack of Swisse Kids Vitamins
I guess I can forgive her fluffy little soul 😉
Bahahaha! They really are remarkably similar aren’t they?
Amy @ Handbagmafia recently posted…Sexual Assault: Never the Victim’s Fault
Indeed they can be!
Only a dog; no kids but yes, my dog has been challenging lately with a new itchy health issue necessitating a cone of shame. She does not like the cone!!
And there’s a thing with Huskies that they won’t step on wet grass. I literally have to pick her up and put her on the grass when it’s wet otherwise she’ll just keep her bladder full to bursting (which is really serious for her as she has epilepsy and T1 diabetes).
Vanessa recently posted…The Acceptance Myth
Dogs HATE the cone. Mine has the cone from her being spayed and she doesn’t like it one bit. I love Huskies, they’re adorable looking dogs (helps I love wolves as an animal so Huskies naturally appeal but I didn’t have time for a big dog that requires a lot of exercise). Interesting, I never knew they didn’t like wet grass! Is that a universal thing?
Mine is husky x border collie. But she’s not big or energetic.
It does seem to be a husky thing to hate wet grass, based on other friends dogs. They’ll do things like leap in to waves at the beach or lie in puddles for fun (a friend of mine put a photo on facebook of her dog sleeping on the trampoline in the rain!) but step on wet grass to pee? No way!
Vanessa recently posted…The Acceptance Myth
Hahahaha! All so true!
Jodi Gibson recently posted…10 Random Questions
So funny! We don’t have a dog as I’m allergic but our kids enjoy my parents little Griffin terrier cross. She is totally like a little kid. I can see the similarities. Such a funny post
The benefits of a dog without all the hard work, sounds like a win win!
We recently had a puppy come to stay for a little while and she was totally just like having another toddler in the house. Although thankfully my kids never took to chewing dirty undies… 😉
So gross! This puppy has ruined several pairs of my undies by jumping in the washing basket (remember I said little dogs can really jump?) and chewing the crotch to smithereens. It’s just GROSS. And annoying. Ick. But only mine and no one elses of course …
I don’t have kids but I have a nephew, and I also have a dog. So many of these are seriously true. When I give my dog medicine I do just what you say and I sneak it in food. That same method doesn’t really work with my nephew but I am definitely open to suggestions especially as flu season is coming up. Love this roundup!
Bribes would be my suggestion! Always have chocolate on hand at all times! Chocolate or ice-cream 🙂
As much as it makes me twitchy if someone compares their pet to my child (Like the time a friend asked how I was, I said – extremely tired newborn and 3 year old tag teamed me all night – she said “Oh, I know how you feel, my cats kept me up last night too.” No…. no… just no… unless you breastfed your cat every hour, it’s not the same at all.)
BUT, one time my brother was talking about both of his dogs, their personality, the dynamic between them, their behaviour, and I’m like – they sound like my kids. Not just general dog/child comparisons, but like my eldest child is like his older dog and my youngest is like his younger dog.
It was a bit weird.
Haha, yes, I would never quite compare my puppy as being identically hard work to my children from that perspective but there sure are similarities! For those who are parents I’m sure they get where I am going with these comparisons which is just some lighthearted humour, unlike your friend! Ha! Chuck the cat outside would be my response, can’t do that with a baby! 🙂
So this morning my mom was playing with our dog, when he suddenly stopped and ran outside. My mom followed him outside, and you know what, he rushed out to pee. She was so touched she had to wake me up. Our pup is grown up now, I am so proud.
By the way, your blog is lovely! I love the theme.
DogsToLove recently posted…How to Carry Out Walking Meditation with Your Dog
Hahaha this is so true that’s why I am waiting before I get them a puppy it would drive me crazy having a busy toddler and puppy
You’re right, lucky both kids and puppies are cute!
Found your blog throught the #waywow link
Lindi Mogale recently posted…Ways to protect your children from germs
Hahaha! This made me giggle! I don’t have children, though I babysit my nephews sometimes. However, I do have a dog. I can attest to all of these things that dogs do. Actually the medicine one is the worst part. In college, my husband and our roommate had to forcefully feed him his medicine. He would refuse to take them and it was insane! Luckily, he’s gotten a little better about taken medicine now that he’s older. Though, he still doesn’t like it.
Gina recently posted…Do You Want To Dress For Less?
Hahaha yes ! So Very similar! I’m so glad I have the poo situation under control in both the dogs and the children.
Mandy @ Barbie Bieber and Beyond recently posted…How To Survive Your Tween Daughter
Oh my goodness I could have written this!!! We just have a new puppy that came home 3 weeks ago and you just described my life!! Couldn’t agree more. We went from a Boxer to a French Bulldog so the princess factor (Although he is a boy) totally exists. He scoffs at biscuits and I am trying to be tough otherwise he will end up a guts!! Gave me a gret laugh!
One of my friends has just got a puppy and it’s a weeing and pooping machine. She’s trying to train it but not having a lot of success so far. I suspect it reminds her of toilet training her 5yr old!
Deborah recently posted…Problogger Event 2016: Five learnings
This is so funny and oh so true!!!!
Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life recently posted…Double Cleansing and RosehipPLUS GIVEAWAY
You’ve totally nailed it, they really are the same!
I am with you on trying to give a dog medicine. With my kids though, they love taking medicine just not trying new foods. If one needs to take something I have to hide them away while they have it so the other doesn’t crack it because they aren’t getting any!
Karin @ Calm to Conniption recently posted…The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #87: Jump!
I agree, on all fronts! You know I’ve seen videos on youtube where the pet learns to use the toilet. That would be the best! LOL Although I bet that through the training period there would be an unholy mess in the bathroom!
Potty training is not fun, for either a child or a pet, I was so thankful when that part was over!
Nikki recently posted…#FierceFriday I Am Fierce!
Bahaha – and that is why, with a three year old, a two year old and a newborn arriving any day now, I poo poo’d the idea of a puppy dog for Christmas. What was the husband thinking?
Oh, #1 totally cracked me up! It’s so true! My boy does not care where he pees. He’ll just drop his dacks – he especially likes the middle of the park – and goes for it…lol!