To The Father Who Doesn’t Know I Exist (An Update!)

An update on this story …


This week I have been too preoccupied to read or do anything but search high and low for diaries I am no longer sure exist but have vague memories of reading which I first talked about in my post To The Father Who Doesn’t Know I Exist …  (If you haven’t read it, perhaps do so first before continuing to read this update).

Has this ever happened to anyone else? You have some whisper of a memory at the edge of your subconscious and you begin to think you imagined it or dreamt it because you can’t seem to reach the whole memory to put it back together. In my instance I have a memory of reading a diary that contained the name Jimmy and details of my mums life in London after finding out she was pregnant, except I can’t pull that memory and make the pieces fit. I can’t picture the diary and nor can I find it despite searching high and low. This weekend I fear I may turn my house upside down in an effort to locate it. Because my house is so small, I’m worried I inadvertently threw it away or the memory is a complete fabrication in my mind. How does that happen? Perhaps the memory of what I read was a whisper in my ear while sleeping from a woman long since dead. I must admit the strangeness of this situation is starting to mess with my brain!

After I posted the post last Tuesday it was shared by over 300 people and viewed by more than 34,000.

Ironically it was shared by a blogger friend who I only met the week before. It was then viewed and shared by an old flatmate of hers from her London days. From there it ended up in a ex employees group of a tour company where it was seen by someone who knew him and passed that on to a family member who by Friday then contacted me. 3 days is all it took. Social media is amazing in this day and age! The world shrinks a little more with every passing year.

We are currently trying to piece things together. 34 years ago is a very long time, memories are scratched away with time and I have no corroboration to put together a timeline but we are trying to put the story together through photographs and dredging up long forgotten memories from the past.


Perhaps I will get answers or perhaps I never will but I already feel a surreal sort of peace that I know now that he exists, even if the reality is far more complicated than I anticipated. I still have had no direct contact with him and may not, however I do feel a sense of closure in how this has all panned out despite this.

Time will tell.

A HUGE thank you to all who embraced my search and shared for me! I could never have found him without you. THANK YOU.

50 thoughts on “To The Father Who Doesn’t Know I Exist (An Update!)

  1. Wow, that’s awesome progress on the search for your father. I hope you find some answers.

    This week I learned that there are people who believe that 9/11 was fabricated. I also learned that someone on my friends list is one of those people. It was just mind boggling.
    Tegan recently posted…Self harm, guilt and parentingMy Profile

    1. Really? What is their theory?! I’d be so interested to read their thoughts on that! So they believe the whole thing was made up or that the government were behind it?

  2. Wow you were in New York. That is an amazing piece of history. I remember 9/11 so clearly. I had just given birth to my second baby (4 weeks old) and my hubby came into the bedroom at 5 am and woke me up (grumpy because i and just been up breast feeding in the dark), and he said you need to watch this on TV. I screamed at him and then he said I will not regret watching it. OMG I cried and cried all day long – yes I was a little hormonal but the world changed that day #FYBF
    Natalie @ our parallel connection recently posted…I am having an affair – how do I explain the fresh flowers delivered?My Profile

  3. Thanks for the documentary recommendation. I’ve been discussing 9/11 with my 12 year old recently and how it’s changed people’s perspectives in the US. We will always remember that tragic day, but I hope we never again hear of kids like Ahmed getting mistaken for a terrorist.
    Jen Rose recently posted…See how they grow!My Profile

  4. Wowzers! The power of the interwebs, hey? The world isn’t that big after all, is it? However, this all pans out, I hope you get the closure you wanted. How good was Emily’s post? My husband had a stroke last year at the age of 43, and thankfully, he’s made a full recovery but man, I wish we both knew then what we know now. When it comes to your health, knowledge really is power. Thanks for linking up to the Ultimate Rabbit Hole!
    Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid recently posted…The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #36My Profile

  5. Gosh the beginning of the search for your dad has been amazing – just 3 days to get the ball rolling. Good luck with putting all the puzzle pieces together xx

    The rest of the week sounds great, I wish I could motivate myself to get out in the garden thought…

    thanks for linking up to #TheList xx
    Hannah Mums’ Days recently posted…Fussy eating sticker chartMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge