Have you ever noticed since having kids that what was once yours is no longer yours alone but is now also theirs?
Whether you want that to be the case or not, kids have a knack of sneaking in and putting claim to everything. Whether it is theirs, yours, their brothers, a strangers. If they see it and they want it then it’s theirs.
Here are some prime examples:
They will follow and nag me till the cows come home trying every trick in the book to convince me that it is a good idea to let them play on my iPhone. When I do give in I end up with so many selfies and photos taken of indeterminable items (is that a finger, the carpet, up their nose?) that I am surprised my phone has any memory left at all. I also have voice recordings that drag on for hours, videos that make me feel like I have vertigo for the jumping around factor and my alarm has been known to go off at all hours of the night (Note to self: Check the alarm before going to bed!).
If you are lucky enough to be an A on my contact list then chances are you have also received a text or two (ok ok, more like 20) from Cohen. Or even a phone call if you are reeeeeeally lucky! Which is great for you, especially when you are in Thailand on holiday (SORRY!).
Here is what those texts will generally look like:
You serve them up a meal, perhaps you give them theirs in advance or you sit down to have breakfast after they have had theirs, whatever. The likelihood is that they didn’t eat theirs but they will want yours even if it is exactly the same thing.
For some reason food that is ours and is on our plate is immensely more attractive than the food that is theirs and on their plate. Except if it is fruit or vegetables, then the likelihood is that you can keep it.
Don’t even try to understand.
(IMPORTANT: This also applies to chocolate! Be smart and hide it until they are out of sight, preferably in bed asleep. You have been warned).
THE TV REMOTE
Is it because I have boys and blokes always think that the remote is theirs, some passage to masculinity to have the remote in one hand and a beer in the other? I’m talking about my husband and other grown men now, not my boys! Just for the record. 2 and 3 is a little young yet though they have already taken on the task of delivering beers to their dad on the sofa without even being asked! My husband is living the dream.
The thing that amazes me though with the remote control is how early they learn to work the darn things! I mean, back in my day (ha!) the remote controlled the changing of a handful of channels (that would be 2 channels … now I feel immensely old!) and now they control about 80 channels on our Sky TV network and you can pause, rewind at 4 different speeds, go to the saved programme menu and select taped shows and play them, fast forward them and even check the weather! My 2 year old knows how to do all of those things with ease. They even know that 105 is their Disney channel and happily change to that every time you walk out of the room.
One night Finn got down from the table after eating my dinner off my plate, standing behind me on my chair and went in the lounge, selected his Cars movie from the taped menu and then proceeded to turn the volume way up to his liking. He’s freakin 2 years old people! At 2 I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what a remote was!
Kids these days are too tech savvy for their own good.
YOUR COMFIEST SEAT
For my birthday this year I decided I needed a new chair. We only had couches and I wanted a reading chair, a comfy lazyboy with a lamp that I could use to snuggle into with a good book and a blanket when I needed that time out from the rat race. So I scoured the second hand auction websites until I found the perfect chair for a bargain price, bought a lamp to go with it and to make it even MORE comfy I bought myself a delectable sheepskin rug to put on it. Do you think I ever get to sit in my chair?! The second I vacate it it’s a fight between the boys, the dog, the cat and the husband (my poor husband is always last on the list these days!).
Come to think of it, even when I am allowed to sit on it it’s often me, a child on either side of me and the cat on my lap.
For some unknown reason Finn has taken a liking to my library books. My library must hate me because the last few books I have taken back have been, um, eaten. Literally. He keeps eating the pages. I do feed him, I promise! He eats whatever is on my plate. But for some reason he loves to eat pages in my library books! Not magazines, nor my own books or their books, oh no. Only my library ones. Luckily for the most part it’s the last page and it’s blank. If you get out a book and it looks half eaten, likelihood is it was mine first.
They won’t keep their socks or slippers (or pants) on half the time but they will happily parade around the house in my ugg boots (see photo under YOUR REMOTE – note the footwear). Go figure.
YOUR BED (AND PILLOW!)
For a loooooong time now I have had nightly visitors. I go to bed every night with my husband and wake up with my boys. Usually Finn is next to me and Cohen has made himself at home on my husbands side. They often sneak in like stealth ninjas in the night and I usually don’t even realise they are there until the morning when I wake up with a kink in my neck, one roll away from landing on the floor, no blankets and the tiniest share of my pillow. For such small humans they sure know how to take up a hell of a lot of room in my bed! Oh sorry, did I say my bed? My bad, their bed.
Might as well be. Do I sound bitter? I’m tired ok!
One small saving grace is that they have no interest in stealing my coffee! Yet.
Do your kids do this too? What do they claim of yours for themselves?